You Are Poison - I'm Not Drinking It Anymore

I have been trying to wrap my head around you. Wondering why... why do you treat me like this... You throw me away after giving me a little piece of you. I come close and feel and you just disappear.  You have been an addiction for a long time ever since we met on Plenty of Fish a few years ago. I remember coming to your apartment off of Pantano. Your roommate was so nice and you were so perfect. That night I gave myself to you, which is something I never did before. I remember looking around your room seeing photos of the past and a girl. You weren't ready for anything and I understood that. We had life in us together. We were fluid you and I. Every night was perfect, every piece of you was perfect. We never got to date, we have been still two ships just passing by each other. I wanted to set sails with you, but you always found what you thought was a better boat. And I hope you find that boat. I am sorry for loving you because I realize you don't deserve it. You are just poison to me. I deserve someone who will bring life into me, like I hoped you would - like you do when we are together. But I just don't see this changing and I will always get a goodbye kiss from you...

Just please. don't be like that forever, love someone one day. Please. You deserve that, not a house that you are alone in or a room with memories of people who aren't even around anymore. Hard work in this life pays off, yes. But when are you going to finally start working on your heart? I makes me sad because maybe you don't see it but you are still staying still. You might be able to change aspects of this life and become hollow and focus on your work and trying to get all that you can in this physical part of life but I don't want you to realize that one day, you will have all that you wanted except the home you made is empty, and all your gains will not support anything except the walls that have no pictures. You will find yourself alone with empire you created. Loveless. And I want you to live and find happiness in those who you love and love you. Don't run away from it or find something wrong with it. Just let it all happen, let it all be.


Just please... don't be your own poison.

I wont let you be mine anymore.