Found a paper from Recovery back in October - "Who I pretend to be"/ "Who I really am"

Today as I was cleaning out another bag from moving home back in like March, I found one of my many purses that I have (I know I have a shopping problem). It had not been cleaned out after I used it the last time so I decided to clean it out as well. As I was going through the old papers, picking out coins, among some tissues was this mangled and folded paper. It was two papers stapled together so I opened it rather than putting it in the trash.

It was a paper we had to work on during the 3 months that I was in the eating disorder recovery place back in October. We worked a lot on ourselves during that time and sometimes we wrote things down. This was a worksheet we did, the first paper was, "Who I Pretend to Be," and the other is, "Who I really am." I remember writing this out and thinking it was silly, most of the other women there also weren't very happy about it because I think it was on the day that we talk about health.

There were already prewritten beginnings and we had to finish them. I will be writing mine out so you can read but I would also say, it might do you some good doing it too. When read it again, I was amazed at how I was feeling but it was true, oh so true.

Who I Pretend to Be
I pretend to be... strong
Most people don't know that I... need more help sometimes
I give the impression of... being knowledgable
The mask I wear is... being a leader
On the surface I am... sinking
The game I play is.... "I'm okay"
I hide behind... my responsibilities
I wear makeup because.... I like looking my best
The clothes I wear indicate.... how I want to feel
The car I drive shows that... I am loved and educated
My job or profession shows others that... I know what I am doing
The real me hides under... professional/life morals
How long I've been pretending is... my whole life
How often I pretend is... countless


Who I Really Am
I am... a human
The main thing about me is... I teach
I always... love to laugh
I feel most like me when... I can just relax
What I like the most about a person is... their ability to have fun
I will be... happy
I get angry when... others are not giving each other a chance
I feel happiest when... I'm with my friends
I believe in... everything
One thing I want to accomplish is... an easier (less dramatic) life
What I like most about myself is... my humor
I hate it when... others can't see there beauty
I was... always like that
I feel least like myself when... I can't see that beauty
If you really knew me... you might think I am depressed
I feel weakest when... I can't do something in my control
When I feel angry, I... don't talk and want to be alone
On a rainy day I like to... stand in the rain, watch the sky and breathe
I feel good when I remember... my students, my family and friends
When I am alone I feel... content
Most of all I really want... sleep
I was the type of child who... played alone
One thing I'd like to change about myself is... nothing
I feel strongest when... I am at work
On a beautiful day I like to... be outside breathing in the air and listen to the world
My favorite pastime is... watch Netflix and working alone
When I feel happy, I like to... be somewhere with a loved one
If my relationship with... my doubts... where to end... I would be endless.



I will do these again someday, it was nice to read and for my younger self to give me that gift to read them again and remember and compare what its like for me now.