Next Chapter

Have you ever woke up one day and just wondered what is honestly the next piece to your life will be? Wanting more than anything someone to come home to and enjoy little mindless moments together with. I feel that time ticking away, and I get sad about it. The one person I want is too busy for me, he never makes time and says we can do things but work is all he really cares about. I'm just here holding my breath, even though I really shouldn't because it's not worth it.

I just don't understand why I put myself in these positions or have these feelings for people who just honestly don't give a fuck about me. Where is my Romeo? Where is my prince? Everyone seems to be finding theirs except me. All my friends are married or in a committed relationship or on the train to be. And I am just sitting here in an empty room. Waiting for something that isn't going to happen. And maybe it will one day but for now, I have to stop holding my breath. It's not worth it.

But I just see these girls and these men, that are so adorable and amazing together. I can't help but compare myself or my past relationships to. I can't help it and it makes me wonder and analyze... If they can have a relationship that is successful... Why can't I find one? What's wrong with me? Will I always be a woman who is a single teacher with too many animals? It just makes a person think a little harder especially since I am now going to be 25 in October.

I know, I know, 25 isn't old and I still have time, but I had plans with this time. I wanted to make plans by this age with someone. My clock is ticking and I have no idea what's in store for my life but I just hope it won't be when I am 35 or 40. I just know that being a partner to someone and one day being a parent would both be two great adventures. I'm not even scared anymore of it all anymore. If anything else I am starting to get scared that it will never happen. I know I have time, but life is so short. I don't want that part to be the ending portion of it, I want it to be my beginning.


I guess the next chapter is, just being me. Until someone wishes to write the next one with me.