Dear myself here is another update...

So I am trying something new. I am on a antidepressant now. My new doctor thinks this is a good move. Hopefully it is or she thinks I might have to quit my job. But I love my job even though it is really hard. But I am trying to start over again here.

1. I am going to church again, trying to reconnect with my God. I trying to really get a handle on this. 2. I am also trying to AGAIN get a handle on my weight. I know, I know, I should love myself the way I am and I do for the most part. But I know I just would like one day to know that I fought my binge eating disorder and won. My antidepressant is actually supposed to help with eating disorders so one can pray. The doc said that depression could have been my problem the whole time since I was a little girl. But anywho, this is what I have been changing.
3. I am not dating or seeing anyone until the right person comes along. I am not jumping into ANYTHING. I will be patient and wait.
4. Today I started to buy all, "clean" food, I will not be having a bunch of processed foods anymore. I want to be healthier. My doc also told me I need to cut back seriously on the carbs (THAT KILLS ME) because it is necessary for my health. (Surprisingly this is actually WAY cheaper)
5. I got a fitbit to help in making sure I stay on top of things and monitor my sleep, which I need.
6. I am not drinking as much on the weekends. I am trying to cut down the amount I drink.


I have a lot going on right now, but I feel like I could accomplish these things. I am trying to not let the darkness get to me that much. But sometimes that is all I see, so I am hoping these pills kick in. I am just trying to keep my faith in this troubling time for me and trying to look forward to all the different things I get to experiene this year.


In a few months I want to look back at this post and be so proud of myself or sticking with everything no matter what.


PS. My one play on here, I am using it in a show I am doing with mini skits! It was so cool to put something I wrong on a stage. Okay that is all. Bye :)

Rachelle Fernandez