Fear by Rachelle Star

Fear

By Rachelle

Hide it all away,
Make sure it can't be found,
Because its not safe to have it all out,
Listen to your empowerment,
No one needs love to survive,
Stuff it all away,
Don't let them see your breathing,
That your heart's beating,
The heart that just bumps with a slow steady tone,
"Bubum, Bubum," the heart goes,
Blood flowing through every vein,
Don't let them see,
Emotions running on high,
Don't let them begin to peak,
With one wish and one thought,
Hopefully none of this will be in vain,
I didn't want these thoughts,
Just wanted my cold-stoned heart,
I wished it all away,
Only to find it another day,
To find it and watch how easy it can just go away,
Unsafe,
Naked and bare,
Oh, these feelings I cannot break,
Hide away,
Don't let you see,
That you are all that is standing in front of me.
And maybe love is what I need to be free
So don't let him see I'm breathing,
Or that my heart's beating,
That heart that just bumps with a quicker-steady tone,
"Bubum, Bubum," the heart goes,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It's beating for you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It just wants the best for you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It will never forget you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
Who knows if I'll ever find someone like you.

New things coming to light!

So my last post is a bit sad. I recently became single again, it was my choice. I broke her heart. I never did that before and it was a long break up but we are trying to still be friends. I know that it happens but it really does crush you when you see that person so devastated and wanting you back. Not sure what happened... I just got tired of being in it to be honest. It was too much work and I didn't want that as a relationship for me. 7 months... I stopped doing everything... I hardly recognized myself and even gained weight because I was actually depressed. This year has been crazy at work! I mean its been insane... gallbladder removed, first show cancelled, STUCO added to my list of classes to teach, and a lot of other things to think about, along with new found confidence that I am just lately  figuring out. Happy I can actually spend moments on me, its a new thing because for once I am actually being a little selfish and giving myself time but that selfish isn't so bad.

Lessons I have learned...
Stay with your mom as long as possible.
Don't make decisions on emotions.
Really think about all the components that life has in it.
Have fun while being young.
Don't give up on what you love.
Always be ready for anything.
Be open.
Be me.


Wrote a poem, starting to finish writing a play. Thinking about acting again. It is a lot of things to think about.

Hopefully you will join me on this adventure.

Rachelle