Just an update. A pretty Furry one. lol

Yesterday I went to get another ferret. There was a lady on Craigslist selling her three ferrets for 40 bucks each, which is a crazy good deal. But anyways, so I called yesterday and wanted to meet up, she had sold one already but was down to meet up with me. So I went to her house with only 40 bucks and this house (if you can call it that) was horrible. It looked like it used to be a store or something in front of a trailer-park but anywho, she was very nice. But I went into the house and it was just terrible, it was dirty and hard to breathe (probably shouldn't have went alone but oh well its over and done with). And she took me to this room where there was no light and a bunch of stuff (hoarders buried alive status). There was this small, very dirty cage in that room, she reached down and pulled out two ferrets. I held one and could feel their bones, it was so sad. So instead of one, I decided to get both. I took one with me, gave her the 40 I already had and told her I needed to get 40 more but I would be right back. So I left for a few minutes, got the 40 I needed and returned for the other. She was waiting for me outside and brought him out. So now I have two new one year old boys and they are super cute. 

I never thought I would be a crazy ferret lady but here I am, with 4 and needing a better and bigger cage. 

They are much happier though I can tell already. It just makes me sad that a person can treat another creature so horribly. But then I have to remind myself that sometimes humans even treat other humans that way too. 

These are all my babies... the whites (first photo) are my two older ones and the darks (second photo) are my two new ones. 

Who could treat these so poorly and then want to give them away? I am glad that the woman though called me a good home and she was glad I was taking them. And honestly they will be a lot of work but I think they will be worth it. 

Love, 

Rachelle Star 

Fear by Rachelle Star

Fear

By Rachelle

Hide it all away,
Make sure it can't be found,
Because its not safe to have it all out,
Listen to your empowerment,
No one needs love to survive,
Stuff it all away,
Don't let them see your breathing,
That your heart's beating,
The heart that just bumps with a slow steady tone,
"Bubum, Bubum," the heart goes,
Blood flowing through every vein,
Don't let them see,
Emotions running on high,
Don't let them begin to peak,
With one wish and one thought,
Hopefully none of this will be in vain,
I didn't want these thoughts,
Just wanted my cold-stoned heart,
I wished it all away,
Only to find it another day,
To find it and watch how easy it can just go away,
Unsafe,
Naked and bare,
Oh, these feelings I cannot break,
Hide away,
Don't let you see,
That you are all that is standing in front of me.
And maybe love is what I need to be free
So don't let him see I'm breathing,
Or that my heart's beating,
That heart that just bumps with a quicker-steady tone,
"Bubum, Bubum," the heart goes,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It's beating for you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It just wants the best for you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
It will never forget you,
Did you hear that heart beat?
Who knows if I'll ever find someone like you.

New things coming to light!

So my last post is a bit sad. I recently became single again, it was my choice. I broke her heart. I never did that before and it was a long break up but we are trying to still be friends. I know that it happens but it really does crush you when you see that person so devastated and wanting you back. Not sure what happened... I just got tired of being in it to be honest. It was too much work and I didn't want that as a relationship for me. 7 months... I stopped doing everything... I hardly recognized myself and even gained weight because I was actually depressed. This year has been crazy at work! I mean its been insane... gallbladder removed, first show cancelled, STUCO added to my list of classes to teach, and a lot of other things to think about, along with new found confidence that I am just lately  figuring out. Happy I can actually spend moments on me, its a new thing because for once I am actually being a little selfish and giving myself time but that selfish isn't so bad.

Lessons I have learned...
Stay with your mom as long as possible.
Don't make decisions on emotions.
Really think about all the components that life has in it.
Have fun while being young.
Don't give up on what you love.
Always be ready for anything.
Be open.
Be me.


Wrote a poem, starting to finish writing a play. Thinking about acting again. It is a lot of things to think about.

Hopefully you will join me on this adventure.

Rachelle

Some things happened...

I fell in love with someone. And I am honestly glad that I took the chance to love her. She and I do great together and we were friends at first... but I think it actually made us stronger because of it. We actually got an apartment together and are planning on how to make it nice and whatnot. Even though I wear the dresses, I am pretty sure I am more masculine than she is. She is small, and so I have to bend just to hold her hand. My favorite part is when we are hugging and I can just lean forward and put my chin on the top of her head.

I am in love.


I never thought this would happen... but she is my best friend and lover.


She is my everyone.


I just wish my mom would be more accepting... I get that she has to get used to it but it still sucks that the one person I want the most to understand just can't. I am still not sure what I am, but I am currently very happy in where I am. I feel like I could be myself for once and not be afraid or try to hide it.

I hope whoever is reading this, that you have a nice Valentines Day. I have a great one this year, she is absolutely perfect.

Bye!


Rachelle Star